Things have been pretty uneventful for a while now. I am keeping up with my research work and other random tasks QoH throws at me. I am on top of my TA work. Things are going smoothly, yet I am unhappy. Guess, I just expect too much out of life.
I spent the day processing data from the experiments I had run during the last month or so. After an arduous day of MATLAB scripting, the lines on the plots look so pretty. Well, all except one parameter look pretty. I am going to swap out a few components and run another experiment tomorrow. If all works as planned, I should be able to ship out the setup in a couple of days. Yah!!
Things have been moving really fast these days, and I am occupied nearly every single hour of the day. I am working on a research project that is a bit, ok a lot, behind schedule and I am playing catchup with it. The interesting part of all this is that I am actually enjoying all this. Typically I would have been crouching in a corner of my bedroom and trying really hard to ignore reality. This time I am tackling the challenges head-on. I am feeling good about it. I guess the adjustments to the meds are kicking in.
Where I come from, today is a day dedicated to the worship of the goddess of Education. I was speaking to my mom earlier, and asked what was it she prayed for. She replied in calm and sincere tone, “A Nobel for you.” I guess logic and probability dont really matter when it comes to maternal love.
Ok. I have a research deliverable on Tuesday, and I had known it for the last week. It is not a difficult task, it is not something I am doing out of the goodwill of my heart. It is the part and parcel of my research work. QoH has done nothing to make things difficult, and has been pretty supportive. YET, I do not want to do it. What is it that I am waiting for? What is it that I am hoping would happen? Even if I start today, I should be able to meet the deadline fairly easily. I dont know what to do with myself. I hate me.
Todays dawn ushered in the start of a new academic year, and along with it the academic losses and triumphs that we have now come to endure if not love. Here is hoping to an active and productive year!
Blogger locked me out of my blog!! Everytime I signed in, it took me to another sign in page ad nauseum. Multiple emails to the help desk didnt quite get any response than the standard “how-to” list.
Anyways, now I have found a work around. Comment on a blog using your blogger ID, and after it is posted, you get to access your blog through the main interface. Weird. I know. Anyways, I am back to blogging, for better or worse. 😉
I am in Vancouver, BC, Canada right now. I came here to renew my US student visa, and that took a whole of 45 mins this morning. I have been roaming around the city all day, and I think I am falling in love with it. The people are nice; the weather is fabulous; the sights are fantastic; and the traffic is bearable. The only thing that irks me is the presence of hookers in every single street corner. You cannot take a walk in peace after dark without being propositioned a couple of dozen times.
This city is pretty unique. The roads downtown are lined with a number of “robo-bears” that are auctioned every year for charitable purposes. A few miles from downtown is a dense forest with a really cool suspension bridge. They have live native(?) music at a park next to the bridge. Oh.. and the best part… they have a really long road that hugs the marina overlooking downtown. After sundown, it was a wonderful experience to sit there in the dark, looking at skyline, listening to music with a stiff breeze blowing across your face.
Earlier this week, I got the tattoo I had wanted for such a long time. As most of you know, the past few months have been rocky, and life has been a fight. I am still coming to terms with my own fallacies, and limits. In the recent past I have gone through a ton of emotions from ecstasy to suicidal. This tattoo symbolizes my small triumphs however insignificant they might be, and it means a lot to me.
I had never done anything without telling my parents about it. In keeping with the tradition, I told them I was getting a tattoo last weekend, and as expected they were opposed to it. I wouldn’t expect their reaction to be anything else. I told them truth. I was honest with them. Still, when I called my mother a few mins ago, she freaked out that I went ahead inspite of their objections. She is very upset. This is the first deviation in my behavior from the ideal image she had conjured up in her mind. I pains to see her so upset, yet not be able to explain things to her. How do I tell her that I need to do this for myself without telling her about the tumultuous past? If I tell her about it, she will only get more worried, and even more upset.
I guess this is just one of those times where life throws you a question to which there is no right answer.
