Aaarrrrrggghhhh
I so fuckin confused!!! I just came out of a 3 hour meeting with QoH. First 1.5 hours was a group meeting, and then we met alone for the remaining 1.5 hours. He was being so nice to me, and encouraging me to take active role. He was painting all these rosy pictures of future with J and him, and how I could potentially graduate within a year and half’s time. Now I am not sure if he is being manipulative, or if he actually speaking the truth. We had a semi-open discussion about me approaching other proffessors, and he was trying to dissuade me without being too aggressive about it. Atleast that part of it was along expected lines. I am so confused right now. I dont know if my decision to quit QoH’s lab was a well thought out one, or if it is one more the bad decisions I have made under stress. Any opinions?
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By zelda, December 4, 2005 @ 12:17 pm
that’s a tough one. obviously it’s easier to stay with your current supervisor (easier, because you don’t have to do anything). maybe he was nice to you because he didn’t want you to leave ’cause he likes you and/or his ego can’t handle losing a student. you could talk to him more about this ‘graduating in 1 1/2 years plan’ and really visualizing what that would look like – and whether you can believe him. i don’t think you’re making any mistakes by looking into your options. your sup knows you’re doing that and he’s responded by encouraging you to stay in his lab (not by pushing you away or making you feel uncomfortable for doing so).
By Wanna Be PhD, December 4, 2005 @ 3:36 pm
Um, but you did feel bad with him up to now, right? And he didn’t manage to cheer you up and to make you writing, right?
It sounds as a good idea to work out a detailed plan with him for the graduating in 1 1/2 years, but keep looking for other supervisors!
For me, the change was the best thing to do!
And can’t you keep QoH anyway on your committee? Even if you have another supervisor? In addition?
By Porkorama, December 5, 2005 @ 7:37 am
Argh…I’ve been lucky with my committee. I used to hate my advisor, she made me cry a few times. But lately she’s been great and I have nothing to complain about. (Yikes!) I have heard such nightmares about other people’s committees, though….
Good luck! Follow your gut feeling.
By Hulai, December 7, 2005 @ 2:59 am
well i say weigh your options and follow your heart.