QoH
Here is an email I got from QoH a few mins ago.
Subject: Performance Issues
Pseudosanity and another grad student,
Yesterday pseudosanity failed to provide me with a document he promised. This is one of many cases when he agreed to a deadline and later failed. Meanwhile, (the other grad student) is on a long vacation beyond the sponsor’s patience. I have no negative comments about it, but you are experienced enough to know the implications of your decisions.
You are leaving me to manage the emergencies on the project with (project sponsor). I will do it today, at the cost of another project. However, you should be aware that our joint work is not going well, I am disappointed at this situation, and one day my patience may run out. I do not deny the fact that you both are generally good students, but I no longer have (cushion/backup) funds to cover for mess-ups of our group. If you cannot keep up with the project, you should take it seriously. Maybe talk to me about an unreasonable set of expectations, maybe look for another advisor. I have considered my expectations of performance reasonable, if you don’t, maybe you should look elsewhere and find a lab with a less demanding schedule. I will give you great recommendation letters and wish you best of luck.
QoH
I do agree that is was highly irresponsible of me to have missed the agreed upon deadline, but it is not like I did it on purpose. I am not sure how to handle this anymore. He seriously thinks that I am goofing off and dont really care about the lab or my work. Should I discuss personal issues with him to make him understand my situation? If I do that, I come off as a weak and whiny. I hate that. I dont know what to do now..
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By zelda, September 1, 2005 @ 12:56 am
i think you should meet with him. i don’t know how much detail you need to go into regarding personal stuff. but you should be honest and clear with him about how much work you are prepared to do and how much you can handle over the next little while (give him a time frame if you can), and ask him if this is alright.
By RageyOne, September 1, 2005 @ 1:29 am
I agree with Zelda. You should talk with him and explain some of what has been going on. Does he know why you missed the deadline? Did you give him a reason?
I think if you want to continue working in this particular lab and you like what you do you should let him know. That is the only way for him to know why/what is happening with you.
By admin, September 1, 2005 @ 2:59 pm
if you don’t mind me asking, why did you miss it? Depression? you shoudl meet with him, regardless of the end decision (new lab/his lab) simply b/c it’s the right thing to do and even is he’s not happy, he’ll hold more respect for you. I was vague with my advisor about missing deadlines, but just saying I had some personal health problems that I couldn’t discuss w/ him, yes I should have gotten in touch with him sooner, yes I want to keep working, and I want to meet with him as soon as I’m better prepared and can present him with higher quality info. it worked for me. At the very least your QoH might say he’s disappointed and might ask you to leave (though doesn’t sound like he would) and at the most he’d say, well I want you to pick things up. just keep doing your best.
By Pseudosanity, September 1, 2005 @ 9:36 pm
Thanks guys. I took your advices and told QoH about it. It will take a bit of time for us to find an equilibrium, but its a start. Couldnt have done it without you guys.