Will Someone call the AARP please?
This morning I dropped by a coffee shop on the way to my office to grab my morning dose of caffeine. There was this guy managing the counter who couldn’t have been any younger than 24. He freakin calls me “Sir” !!! WTF? I am not a freakin SIR… He might have been trying to be polite or something, but anyways, it costed him is $2 tip.
I had barely gotten over that, when my doctor calls. I hate it when she calls. She never calls me with any good news.. ever. So today she woke up and found out that I still hadnt filled for bankruptcy so decided to go ahead and prescribe a whole new set of tests. The first few were ok, the normal blood, xray, yada yada yada… the last one, however, was interesting. She wanted me to carry this thing to monitor my heart rate for 48 hours straight!! I tried to talk her out of it, but failed. So I go in to get this monitor thingy, and the waiting room looks like a holding place of a mortuary or something. The youngest person there other than me was about 65 or so. Long story short, I have 7 electrodes stuck to my body, a 2 pound box lugging around my waist, and am really really really pissed.
So its not bad enough as it is with being 26, people calling me SIR, the slow music, now, senior medication seems to have joined the list. The whole world is out to get me. Can I just give in and start cashing in my social security checks? I swear one more of this, and I am moving to Florida, and starting with my “in my time” speeches.
