Am I losing it?
There are days, like yesterday, where every thing is perfect. The roses are blooming. The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. Just perfection all around. These are the days I get so much done. I am really happy when I am productive. That happiness feeds into my energy and I do more stuff.
Then there are days when nothing seems to go right. The coffee is too cold. The cellphone is crapping out. QoH is being unreasonable. The bloody birds are screeching all over. The flowers are irritatingly pink. All I want to do these days is to lie in bed. I often do. At least until its well past noon and my once comfortable blanket is wreaking of stench from all the sweaty heat that has built up.
I have been trying to track my feelings/mood for the last few days. What I was aiming for was to figure out if I was depressed or something. I have been down a lot lately and I am not liking it, which unfortunately feeds back in to the vicious cycle. Sadly the study ended with no concrete result. I am not able extract patterns. None at all. Well I have not run it through eigen value analysis or principle component analysis to say that for sure, but I dont see any thing apparent. So that rules out any medical reason.
I am seriously disturbed by these major swings. For instance this morning was wonderful. Sometime this afternoon I started to sulk. I have no reason to sulk. I mean there are a billion things in my life that could be better, but none of them are that bad that I have to sulk.
I think I am going mad or am mildly bipolar.
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By Vixen, April 20, 2005 @ 4:34 am
Mildly bipolar, hmm? I don’t think there’s anyone in our hectic society that hasn’t already reached that point!
By Hulai, April 20, 2005 @ 7:41 am
I get slightly depressed on a really regular basis. I soo sympathize with you!
By Zelda, April 20, 2005 @ 11:52 am
i think this is completely normal. i definitely have a pattern. when it seems like no one is getting back to me about stuff or that more than one thing at a time (school, work) isn’t moving forward – then i get soooo tense.
By Pseudosanity, April 20, 2005 @ 7:27 pm
I have been thinking about this for a while, and all your comments are only reinforcing it. I hypothesize that we have forgotten what it is or how to be happy. We are just incapable of it. Blame the society, blame the pace of life, blame the aliens for all I care. But I think I am right.
By admin, April 23, 2005 @ 8:20 pm
maybe you’re just a graduate student. I get mildly bipolar too. I totally blame school
By Pseudosanity, April 24, 2005 @ 1:06 am
In the 70s it was “The Man”, in the 80s it was the parents, 90s were “rat race” blamers, and we march into the new millinium with “the grad school”. I can almost see a huge hoarding outside the university saying, “Grad school, the root of all that is evil”
By Hulai, April 25, 2005 @ 12:21 am
Haha! I am the root of all that is evil not grad school! No Im just joking! Just thought I would try and make you laugh!