So what’s behind the shroud?
Earlier this evening, we had a fallow up session for the support group I had mentioned earlier. Well its not so much as a support group as a forum for people to develop their intangible skills and discuss their issues.
This person, who we shall just call “A”, who had sat next to me during Saturday’s workshop turned up to the meeting. Based on our interactions on Saturday, I had imagined that she was this enthusiastic, self confident, go-getter who had complete control of her life and was steering it towards a goal she had well envisioned. Anyways, so today she comes to discuss issues she has been having with her project supervisor in terms of the feedback or lack thereof. “C” who was our facilitator for the workshop was leading today’s discussions. He asked “A” a lot of seemingly harmless questions. After a while “A” opened up, and she was talking about how important it is for her to have someone tell her constantly how well she is doing. She was looking for external affirmation of her competence. When asked of her biggest fear, she said it was failure. I was touched by it. Never would I have imagined that behind the powerful image she was projecting was this wonderful soul which was so vulnerable at core. I don’t remember the last time I was moved so much.
We in academia have lost touch with our inner-selves. We interact with each other only on a professional level, and never bother to get to know what the real nature of the other person is. In my case, I go to great lengths to shield it from others, lest they see me as being weak.
I am confused now. Should we open ourselves to others and let them actually be a part of our lives? Or by doing that are we just making ourselves more emotionally vulnerable?
