Monday Morning Blues

[Image from bluesimage]

I *think*I have found a new place to stay. Applications have been submitted, and am waiting to hear back from them on whether I got approved or not. Fingers crossed.

My current roommate wants my help moving his stuff to his new apartment. Yah right. I told him I will help him, but I totally plan on going back on my words just hours before his move. Evil, yes. Satisfying, yes.

I was incredibly mean to my parents this weekend. They had called thrice, and all three times I was a mean SOB. I should call and make nice to them later this weekend. I cannot help being mean/rough when they accuse me of things that were precipitated by their actions. They are mega-pissed that I will not be graduating any time soon and help them out financially. Well, I would have graduated by now had I not taken up a year and half long internship! I had to stick to the internship coz I was sending home nearly $2500 each freakin month. Tell me of one other student who earned nearly $70,000 at an internship, had a RA all along, and is still more than $25,000 in debt. They cannot have their cake and eat it too. Also, how the fuck am I responsible for all the money that my dad keeps losing in his business. Seriously, its been 4 years since he started this thing and it is yet to show any signs of generating revenues. Why am I being penalized for his failures? I am 28 and tittering on the verge of bankruptcy for his mistakes. It just isn’t fair.

Fuck this. I am going to my office and immersing myself in mind numbing routine work.

Traitor

 [Image from Magic Artwork]

 You might recall that I had mentioned that I have to move out of my apartment by the end of the month. My roommate and I had decided that we will just look for another 2 bedroom apartment near the University. We spent the last couple of weeks arduously scouting for a new place, and all of them were rejected for one reason or other. Today he tells me that he wants to move in with some other friends of his since he does not want to spend time hunting for apartments anymore. He says he is too lazy to do this. His words, not mine. WTF? I understand it is his right to move in where ever he wants, but he should have told me about this a long time ago. With just 2 weeks to go before getting thrown out and with a week of travel already scheduled, I now have to go find a place for myself. I always knew he was a selfish oaf, but this level of self centered attitude astounds me.

The Research Delusion

[Image from Dan Kimble]

The last 7 hours was spent writing up a proposal for QoH which is to be submitted to an industry partner. This proposal was being written in consultation with a lab mate of mine who is now part of the work force. We argued and debated pretty much every single thing on the proposal which is great and is exactly what scientific writing is about. It was not until the end of the day that I dawned on me that how little of “actual” research is involved. The whole thing is more about developing a product for industrial use with minimal risk than it was about research. Every effort of mine to include some new aspect, any new aspect, was met with resistance.

Most of the funding our lab gets is from industrial partners and nearly 99% of our research is application based, so I am not in total denial about the need of industrial partner. In the past we at least made a perfunctory dabs at research here and there, but with this new proposal we just gave up on the whole thing. I am certain that this proposal is going to get funded, and I am equally certain that I, in clear conscience, cannot work on it. I understand the need to lower standards for sake of survival, but when is enough enough?

When did the engineering academia stop being the bed of new tech2nology and start being the outsourced R&D wing of product development?

This, that, and the other

Things have been pretty good these days and I am enjoying my time in the sun for however long it might last.

• QoH and I are on great terms. I am working at my pre-depression  levels. I never thought I would say this, but I am actually quite satisfied with my work. Of course, I am still lazy every now and then, but then who isn’t?
• I have to find a new apartment by the end of this month. It has been 4 years since I had last moved, and things have changed quite a bit. Finding a new place within my budget is more like a treasure hunt.
• I have not been dating for a while now, and I am actually OK with it.  It might have something to do with the fact that I have raised my bar quite a bit.
• My dear darling laptop finally crapped out.  American Express is returning the total cost of the laptop under its buyer’s assurance program. Just when you start to think all banks are soul-less jerks, they do something sweet like this. aawww.

I am running late for a hair appointment, so more later.