Feeling Lazy

I havent posted for a week now, and its time I got back to it. So here is the low down of last week. I got a bit of work done at my internship and a bit of QoH’s work. During my last meeting with QoH, I brought up the topic of me doing a lab rotation with other professors. I suggested a few names, and he gave me an honest feedback on them. In the course of that conversation I saw a bit of regret in his tone and speech. He let it slip that he had to let me do this since he doesnt have any funding and its all because of his bad management skills. He then offered to find me a Teaching Assistant position for a quarter. Now I have funding till next Summer. Hopefully something will materialize in the next few months. I am still going to continue looking for positions with other professors. I just sounds like a good idea to expand my field a bit. I will start working on contacting them today.
I think I have neglected my research for long now. I need to start working on it at my own pace. I dont think I can find the satisfaction of research at my internship, and I have just too much repressed anger against QoH to have any kind of working relationship right now. I am going to work on a review paper that I started more than 2 years ago, but never got down to finishing it. I am going to spend a day a week working on the paper. It may not be the best of the papers when its done, but atleast it will be mine. Once I am done with it, I will send it to QoH for reviewing before I submit it to any journal.
I was feeling a bit lazy this morning and I started reading blogs to kill time. I came across Power Prof‘s post about blogging helping her getting started. I figured I might as well give it a shot. Now that I have been writing for a few minutes, I definetly feel a lot more energetic and pumped up. An ellusive good tip from a professor, now all that is left is for pigs to fly.

My new device design is done :) I had a whole minu…

My new device design is done I had a whole minute to spare before the deadline too !! J is happy. So am I. For some reason I am more nervous than happy. I guess in a way the success of this design would play a significant role in determining my future in grad school. I think I have earned tonight’s sleep.

Yay

I have finally finished making changes to the new device design. I had to work all night on it, but it was so worth it. I found a billion errors in the last revision. I just sent the files to J for final review. Once he OKs it, I will send it off to the fabricators. Another couple of hours, and I will be done!!

Hmm.. its 7.00 AM already. Guess I should head home, take a shower, and go bug J.

Burning the Mid Night Oil

Ok.. I am NEVER EVER going to put off stuff till the 11th hour. I have to send out the final design of the device in the morning, and I still have quite a bit of work to do. Its about 1:40 AM now and I am sleepy, cranky, and hungry.

Work et.al.

J had wanted to review the new device design since last Thursday. I had promised to send him the files by that evening. Having waited till this afternoon, he sent QoH and me emails asking what was going on. It took that email and a phone call from QoH to get me to start working. I finally sent him the files this evening, and personally went down to my internship place and explained the design to him. He seemed satisfied with the design, but was clearly unhappy with me. His anger/frustration is justified. I dont know why I do this. It was just 3-4 hours of work, and I waited for 2 weeks before I got down to doing it. I think I am being too easy on myself.

In other news, my credit score dropped 50 fuckin points this week. I transfered the balance on one card to two other cards. I think the balance increases were reported, but not the payment. Still, 50 points drop seems a bit too drastic. Even more worrying for me is that when I received the email, I had a tiny panic attack. My mind was racing, breathing heavy, chest constricted, throat parched and head was a bit light.

Damn

Someone found this blog by searching for “difficult doctoral advisor ruin student career” on Google. I am not sure if I should be happy that I am not the only grad student worried about advisors, or if I should be worried that google actually lists this blog in the top 5 for such a horrific search?

Coffee Shop Mania

Damn you comfort!! I had an appointment at 3.30 PM to get a haircut, but I am not able to get myself to get up and get out of this coffee shop. Here is a picture of the coffee shop I took a few mins ago while playing around with my cell phone.

Relaxed Weekend

I am loving today. I feel so relaxed and calm. I woke up around 9.00 AM, but decieded to go back to sleep since I had nothing better to do, and the comfort of my bed was just too good to give up. I finally got out around 11.00 AM, made myself a nice hot cup of coffee, cleared emails, and went out for lunch at my local favorite restraunt. Now I am lounging at a coffee shop, sipping on a blazing hot cup of coffee, and reading Andrew Solomon’s The Noonday Demon. You should consider reading this book even if you are remotely interested in depression. This is a no nonsense book that gives it to you in plain English. The author himself has gone through severe depression, so his insights are really personal and valuable. I have read only the first 23 pages so far, and I am loving it.

I have a design deadline at my internship on Monday, and I managed to piss J off on yesterday, but I am not too worried about either. Ever since I accepted leaving QoH and finding another advisor as an acceptable choice, my stress and worry levels have taken a plunge. Its not like I am neglecting work either. Well, to be honest, I probably am neglecting it a bit, not much.

Paradise Lost

Maybe I am looking at all this the wrong way. This…

Maybe I am looking at all this the wrong way. This is a great opportunity. I get to make a mid-course correction if I choose to do so, and reconsider my options that would have gone unnoticed had I not hit this slump with QoH. this just maybe a good thing.